Troubled

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I always thought my mother and I were simply just not meant to have a good

relationship. I love my mother with all my heart but as a person she can be extremely

difficult to get along with and really talk to. I complained that she didn't understand me

and that she didn't know what it was like to be me. It wasn't until I overheard a

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conversation she had with my oldest sister, Lizeth that I realized things might not be

exactly as I perceived them to be.

It was a regular day like any other. I was sitting at the computer doing my

homework when I heard my mother's car pulling into the driveway. I felt my stomach

turn because I didn't know what mood my mother would be in that day when she walked

through the door. All I could think about is what excuse she might find to yell at me

today. I figured there was nothing I could do to help it so I continued with my work.

Minutes later she walked through the door and didn't say a word, she went straight to her

room and closed the door. I didn't worry and considered myself lucky, I just figured she

was tired or upset for some reason that I didn't really feel like knowing.

About half an hour later my sister arrived home. My mother came out of her

room and saw my sister talking on the telephone. Seconds later my sister ended her

conversation and began to walk toward our bedroom without saying a word to my

mother, but before I knew it they started to argue. My sister argued that she hadn't done

or said anything and my mom replied by saying that was the problem.

I was about to dismiss the conversation when I heard my mom ask my sister if we

cared about her. The insecurity in my mother's voice startled me, I recognized that

insecurity, it was the same insecurity that took over my voice when I asked God if my

mother cared about me. She asked my sister why she hadn't got to greet her when she

had arrived home and my sister replied that my mother was always upset and angry and

that she was afraid that even a simple "hello' might start an argument with her. My

mother then said that we didn't understand what it was like to be her, and that we never

cared enough to ask what was bothering her. She said we ran away from her and put no

effort in really finding out who she was. That was when it hit me, when I saw the tears

fall gently down my mother's cheeks causing tears to begin to roll down mine. My

perspective changed and for the first time I was able to identify with my mother and

realized that my mother was a person too and that may be she wasn't the problem and

that I was part of the problem.

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Christopher Isherwood : Goodbye to Berlin

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Biography

Christopher Isherwood

104 Born in Chesire, England

114-1 attended various schools, studied medicine at Kings College in Write my Essay on Christopher Isherwood : Goodbye to Berlin for me

London, but never got a degree

18 his first novel All the Conspirators is published

1-1 moved to Berlin with Auden and taught English, 11 meets Jean

Ross, the model for Sally Bowles

18 travels to China with Auden

1 The Berlin Stories his best known work, is published includes Goodbye to Berlin and Mr. Norris Changes Trains

Moves to southern California, and works on films in Hollywood

146 becomes a US citizen

186 dies in Santa Monica, California

After he moved to California, he worked in Hollywood, and in the 70s became a

leading spokesman and supporter of gay rights. He also taught at several

universities including UCLA. Later he met his guru Swami Prabhavananda, and

began studying Hinduism and translated the Bhagavad Gita, and was interested in

mysticism and considered becoming a monk of the Ramakrishna order.

Throughout his life he workedhad contact with

W.H. Auden

Aldous Huxley

Tennessee Williams

Liza Minnelli--won Best Actress Oscar, Golden Globe for Best Actress, and

British Academy of Film and TV Arts Award for her first singing role in the

movie Cabaret done in 17

Style

"I am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking…," this quote, pulled from the first page of Isherwood' s narrative "Goodbye to Berlin," gives an accurate representation of the stylistic approach he takes in the narrative. He is quite detached in his approach and simply narrates short public events in private lives to evoke political events of that time period. -Isherwood uses his own name as a character, but describes it as "only a convenient ventriloquists dummy, nothing more." Although, he uses this character and others in the narrative, to describe himself and situations throughout the narrative. Short Summery -described as "A roughly continuous narrative...of a Pre-Hitler Berlin." -"Goodbye to Berlin" is also considered one of the most significant political novels of the 0th Century. Christopher Isherwood divides the narrative into six parts, which are each distinct inquiries into various socio-economic perspectives of a "Pre-Hitler Berlin." -He writes of experiences with Fräulein Schroeder, his landlady; Sally Bowles, the English "upper-class waif"; The Nowaks, a struggling working-class family; and The Landauers, a wealthy Jewish family. All of whom are affected by this crumbling society.

Historical Background

p. 0"You can go in the tram … I will not have them throwing stones at my beautiful car."

October 1, 10

Hitler and the Nazis waged a campaign in 10 unlike anything ever seen in Germany. Hitler traveled the country delivering dozens of major speeches, attending meetings, shaking hands, signing autographs, posing for pictures, and even kissing babies. Goebbels brilliantly organized thousands of meetings, torchlight parades, plastered posters everywhere and printed millions of copies of special editions of Nazi newspapers.

On Election Day, September 14, 10, the Nazis received 6,71,000 votes, over eighteen percent of the total, and were thus entitled to 107 seats in the German Reichstag. It was a stunning victory for Hitler. Overnight, the Nazi party went from the smallest to the second largest party in Germany.

On October 1, dressed in their brown shirts, the elected Nazi deputies marched in unison into the Reichstag and took their seats. When the roll call was taken, each one shouted, Present! Heil Hitler!

Nazis dressed in civilian clothes celebrated their victory by smashing in the windows of Jewish shops, restaurants and department stores.

p. 4"Today … the Nazis held a demonstration on the Bülowplatz … I went along to watch it with Frank, the newspaper correspondent."

January , 1

Horst Wessel, a member of the SA, was murdered by Communists in 10. Goebbels turned him into a Nazi martyr and hero, and Wessels song Die Fahne Hoch! became the favourite Nazi marching song. After the Nazi takeover of the government in 1, Bülowplatz was renamed Horst Wessel Platz, and on January Communists were thrown out of their headquarters at the Karl Liebknecht Haus, which became SA headquarters and a shrine to Horst Wessel.

p. 5"Hitler came, and the Reichstag fire … I wondered what was happening to Bernhard."

February 7, 1

The Reichstag, seat of parliamentary government in Germany, was in recess, quiet and empty except for a night watchman. On the evening of February 7, smoke was observed coming from the building, and in less than ten minutes firemen were on the scene. However, flames had already broken out all over the building, and then a tremendous explosion enveloped the central chamber in flames. The fire quickly raced out of control, and soon only the walls of the gutted building were still standing. Within minutes, police arrested a half-naked and seemingly dazed Dutchman, Marinus Van der Lubbe, who was discovered at the scene. Hitler and Göring arrived, and Göring immediately accused the communists of setting the fire. Van der Lubbe was tried and executed for the crime; however, a great deal of evidence points to an SA/SS Sondergruppe.

Before the sun rose on February 8th, over 4,000 communists other intellectuals and professional men targeted by the Nazis were arrested. Hitler convinced Hindenburg to sign an emergency decree suspending the basic rights of the citizens for the duration of the emergency. This decree also authorized the Reich government to assume full powers in any federal state whose government proved unable to restore public order, ordered death or imprisonment for a number of crimes including some newly invented such as resistance to the decree itself.

Structure

-"loosely connected sequence of of diaries and sketches"

-first and last chapter "Berlin Diaries" serve as a frame for chapters -5 (middle part)

-Berlin Diary I (Fall 10) light-hearted opening and carefree style

@ description of Narrator " I am a camera with its shutter open, quite

passive, recording, not thinking..." .

@ portrait of Berlin and its inhabitants during the final .5 years of Weimar

Republic before Nazi take-over

@ Berlin inhabitants represent misfits of the whole German society

@ "Isherwood s" roommates help to establish atmosphere of Berlin s decay

and help demonstrate this crisis

-mood gradually deteriorates throughout the book

-4 sections in between serve to span intervening time gap

-contradictory organisation

@light-hearted diary in the beginning ͘ doom laden diary at the end

@heterosexual (ChapterSally Bowles) ͘ homosexual (Ch.Ruegen Island)

@underprivileged working-class family (Ch.The Nowaks) ͘ wealthy jewish

capitalists (Ch.The Landauers)

@jewish garden party ͘ Nazi takeover (quote "This evening is the dress-rehearsal of a disaster. It is like the last night of an epoch. [...] I thought of our party [...] drinking our claret-cup while the gramophone played; and of that police- officer, revolver in hand, stumbling mortally wounded up the cinema steps to fall dead at the feet of a cardboard figure advertising a comic film.")

@light ( "The bus stopped. Otto and I were the last passengers to get out . We stood stretching ourselves and blinking at the bright snow out here in the country everything was dazzling white." ͘ dark ("her big dark eyes fastened on to mine like hooks; I could imagine I felt them pulling me down [...] all this was part of the long, rather sinister symbolic dream...")

-vacuum shown in the lives of people that make Nazi take-over possible (Frl Schröder and Frau Nowak s political ignorance)

-final Berlin Diary (Chapter VI )  political events now gain more and more importance in personal lives

-tragi-comic in the end "The sun shines, and Hitler is master of this city. The sun shines, and dozens of my friends [...] are in prison, possibly dead. [..] I catch sight of my face in the mirror of a shop, and am horrified to see that I am smiling. You can't help smiling, in such beautiful weather. "

 funny and light, careless opening ; serious, thoughtful, politically inspired ending even with some of narrator s friends dying.

Metaphor and Important Scenes

Theatrical Metaphor "Playing"

-Sally Bowles plays at love When she informs "Christopher" that she is in love with Klaus, she at once adds "At least, I think I am".

-Otto Nowak plays at love, too. He leaves Peter, and later plays by pretending that Peter left him "please, never mention Peter s name to me again [...] Peter hurt me very much. I thought he was my friend. And then, suddenly, he left me all alone...".

-Rudi plays to be communist like his friends are ("Rudi s make-believe, story-book game has become earnest; the Nazis will play it with him.")

-When "Isherwood" first visits Troika, the entire place leaps into simulated life and gaiety as soon as a party of rich customers enter the page-boy s voice becomes "mocking, clear-pitched like an actor's , while the dancers showed "in their every movement a consciousness of the part they were playing". The entire performance is described in terms of a grotesque pantomime.

-The theatrical metaphor is extended as the novel progresses to embrace every aspect of Berlin. The communist bar near the zoo with its back-slapping waiter and conspiratorial costumers is "thoroughly sham and gay and jolly". Just as the Nazi demonstration on the Bülowplatz and the counter-demonstration by the inhabitants "was too much like a naughty schoolboy s game to be seriously alarming"

-Vivid image of Berlin on eve of Hitler s putsch is of the Salome appropriately decorated to look like hell, where "stage lesbians", as part of the performance, imitate "the laughter of the damned" for the sake of their clientele.

-Metaphor of mental illness Peter Wilkinson has neuroses.

This metaphor is used to make a statement about German society at large.

Otto represents the best and the worst of Germany he has the health and vitality of an animal and on the other side he s selfish like an animal.

No one really takes the Nazis seriously enough that they are able to seize power at the climax of the book by staging what is a big coup de th âtre.

In fact most of the inhabitants of Berlin during these final anarchic years of the Weimar Republic are playing at living, playing with life very much in the way that the artist does

The lost characters in the novel have been playing at life for so long that finally they have become fatally separated from their impulse to live. (e.g. Bernhard Nowak)

Boxing-scene

Simulated boxing fights at a fair-ground. Audience believes in everything happening on stage, that fights are real. "The audience took the fights dead seriously, shouting encouragement to the fighters, and even quarrelling and betting amongst themselves on the results. Yet nearly all of them had been in the tent as long as I had, and stayed on after I had left. The political moral is certainly depressing these people could be made to believe in anybody "

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Scholarship Essay

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Like most typical Asian kids, I was pressured by my parents to learn the piano at a very young age. I practiced diligently and I was decent for my age, but it wasn't something I particularly enjoyed. However, it has provided me with a strong foundation of basic music theory and technique, which I applied to my later violin studies. For a few years in middle school, I excelled at the violin, but when introduced to yet an even "better" instrument, I couldn't resist the temptation to switch once more to learn the viola. It was through this instrument that I really began to discover myself through music I practiced because I wanted to, not because it was something I was compelled to do by my parents, and consequently, I have won several competitions and scholarships through that instrument. This year I have decided to try something different rather than performing, I have decided to teach. I currently coach the younger orchestras of Tucson Junior Strings every Saturday, as well as teach basic music theory to aspiring musicians. Teaching is fun!

Besides music, I volunteer regularly outside of school. During all of my high school summers, I have volunteered at Tucson Medical Center in departments ranging from Information Systems, Unit 00, and Breast Screening. There, I worked with computers, women, children, and senior citizens regularly. I also volunteer at Epoch Senior Living for senior citizens where I provide them with music as well helping with more basic tasks such as serving food and changing bed sheets and linen. But most importantly, I have also discovered the most important aspect of my service at the assisted living center of being born with an ear! Many of the tenents are visited by their loved ones only once or twice a year for the other 64 days, it can get very lonely with nobody to talk to, and just my mere presence helps alleviate that emptiness for the brief hour or so that we may talk. With an average of sixty to seventy years of added life experience, I find most of their stories to be very entertaining as well as refreshing. Let's face it one can only listen to stuff about cars, boys and clothing for so long before tiring of the same subjects prevalent in the school environment.

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Hospital

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After nine never-ending months, the time had rapidly approached. It was our first child and we were extremely excited, anxious, and worried. I can remember every little detail about that day. It has been embedded into my brain.

When we first walked into the hospital room, it was a bit overwhelming. Everything seemed to be beeping or buzzing and there were wires and tubes everywhere. My wife Susan had to be induced since the baby did not want to greet the world on time. This is when all troubles started to take place. Every few minutes, Susans' heart rate would beat way too fast. She had the whole hospital staff baffled. So, after numerous hours, the doctors decided to perform a c-section. This happened to be Susans' biggest fear about child birth. We were both extremely frightened at this point, but the doctors and nurses kept telling us everything would be alright.

The c-section went along with no problems. However it seemed like an eternity until they were finished delivering the baby. During this time all my emotions struck me at once. At that moment, I truly understood how important family was and how much more my wife meant to me. I realized that before, I took everything for granted. This situation helped me to value the things that were important to me.

I'll never stop thinking about the first time I saw my beautiful daughter. She was all pink and plump. And of course, she was crying! I was amazed at how incredible it was to finally see her.

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After the operation was finished, Susans' heart rate was continuing to speed up and then slow down. This fluctuation continued throughout the night. The doctors kept trying different medications. Unfortunately, none were successful in controlling her rapid heart rate. Finally, the doctors sent my wife to the cardiac floor where we would spend our last four days in the hospital.

I stayed with Susan in the hospital until the end. I never left her side. I slept in the same room with her every night. After what felt like an eternity, the doctors finally found a good combination of medication to manage her heart rate. We finally all got to go home. We were quite eager and relieved to be leaving. Three short months later my wife had to get a procedure done to her heart. The whole thing turned out as best as we could have imagined.

The entire experience was completely exhausting and rewarding. I can only image how my wife must have felt. We were truly blessed with such a beautiful baby girl. She is everything we both could have dreamed of. I really understand how much I love my wife and how much she means to me.

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Ellen Foster

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Kaye Gibbons was born in Nash County, North Carolina in the year 160. I have decided to concentrate on her first novel titled Ellen Foster published in 187. I plan to talk about her use of first person narration, the story structure, and character development, along with the idea of family, friendship, and a child's search for love.

From the opening lines of Ellen Foster you are introduced to the voice of Ellen, the young girl to which this story is told by. She takes you through many years of her childhood recounting the ups and downs that she goes through. Her first words are, "When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy." She presents a voice not unlike any child that speaks of truth. Throughout the novel she speaks of a truth that is outright hilarious to sometimes depressing and sad. There is a section where she talks about money. She say's, "All I really cared about accumulating was money." Who other than a child would admit to something like that? It is this voice that allowed me to fall in love with this character, because she is going through such a rough time and in order to escape it all she plans for the future and starts saving. She was always acting as though she was older than she really was, but come to think of it, maybe a person gains an overall maturity through experience. Throughout the novel Ellen is faced with numerous obstacles. It forces her to become this form of adult built inside a child's body. Gibbons is constantly keeping the reader in side of Ellen's head. All these cynical thoughts and remarks we automatically find out through the use of the first person narration. We slowly start to see that this child is extremely confused and lonely. It is not until the near end that she admits her loneliness and wish for comfort as she is trying desperately to make a deal with Jesus. "I reminded Jesus that this not the way a girl needs to be. I told him again to please settle up with me so I could be a pure girl again and somebody good could love me." For me there is no other way to make this novel a success without having Ellen's voice that which carries the story. Gibbons nails it right on the head and I feel is very accurate in writing the voice of a young girl.

From the opening couple of pages there is a way in which the story is structured that brings forth a constant suspense in the reader. It constantly jumps from the present back to the past and then back to the present. Gibbons makes the choice to present the reader with two different points in time and jumps back and forth sometimes without you even noticing. This goes on until the final chapter. While I was reading the story, constantly going back and forth made me want to jump to the very end and find out what happens. It became suspenseful because on one page you would be reading about how bad things were and then all of a sudden she was with her new mama and things were great. Its as if there is a part of you that wants things to finally just be good for Ellen and by jumping back and forth it makes you question what the out come will be. Finally in the end when the two story lines meet again there is still this thought in the back of your mind that wonders if something wrong will happen again. By the end I am not completely sure if I can finally smile and say she will be all right, as a result of the constant change back and forth. By using this structure I think Gibbons helps to create an uncertainty in her reader. It almost parallels the uncertainty that Ellen is having as well. By making this choice Gibbons gives her reader a chance to doubt Ellen's future. We can do nothing else but feel for her as she goes through rough times and seems to take it without any emotion.

Throughout the story many of us catch Ellen's eye but the one that stays constant throughout is her only friend Starletta. She a bit younger than Ellen and comes from a "colored" family. Starletta is a quiet girl according to Ellen but when Ellen is having problems with her father it is Sarletta and her family that take her in. Set in a time when colored people were still looked down on Ellen thought she should feel superior to her good-hearted friend. She knew nothing except for the way people in society had acted like since she was born and that was white were above colored. I think she took a big step to even befriend Starletta at that time but there were still those questions coming from people in her own family. She lives in a small house with weeds that grow up from the ground and out the wooden floor along with an outdoor bathroom, something Ellen could not understand. Ellen feels that she is much smarter than her but she thinks that Starletta is able to have more fun. It is Starletta that somewhat inspires Ellen to change, along with her trying to leave her past. Ellen doesn't want to be forgotten and if her only friend didn't remember her than who would. In the end Ellen through her child-like eyes looks through and beyond the color of skin and loves Starletta for who she is.

Julia and Roy are very important characters as well. They serve to show Ellen that there are people who care about her and truly love her. Julia is an art teacher at the school Ellen attends, so when the teachers find a bruise on Ellen and find out that she is being abused it is Julia that welcomes her into her home. Julia further inspires Ellen to her artwork. Being a child of the sixties Julia brings that sense of love and peace to Ellen's complicated life. Ellen also fills in the missing space that is present in Julia and Roy's life. They always wanted a child and Ellen fits right in, but soon enough is taken away from them and placed into the hands of her mama's mama.

Her mama's mama was a very wealthy old women and she despised Ellen's father. Ellen initially thinks that moving in with her would be great because she has a lot of money and she could spend it on Ellen. She also thinks that maybe she will get to know her grandma better, but soon enough that is out of the question when she finds herself working out in the fields with the slaves. This experience sparks a change in the way Ellen looked at colored people because when she was out in those fields it didn't matter what color she was. Out there she meets Mavis. Mavis is the group leader so to speak. She reinforces the idea in Ellen that she resembled her mother a lot and got to learn about her moms' childhood. Unfortunately her grandma thought of Ellen as bad as she did her father and would do almost anything to torture her. She claimed that Ellen had her fathers eyes and that reminded her of him. Ellen cared for her grandmother while she was sick, but deep down she wanted her to die, not because Ellen was a bad person but mostly because her mama's mama was bad. Ellen didn't want to be blamed for a second death, so when she stopped breathing Ellen made her up with her best hat and covered her bed with flowers in hope that it might help her in her after life, because she needed it.

The voice of Ellen in this section is great. The way Gibbons helps us to understand her intentions and a small cry out for forgiveness. It is in this section that we are introduced to God and Ellen trying to prove to him that she was not at fault with her mothers' death. On the page it is just so funny.

"I found her Sunday hat she never wore and tilted it on her head the way a live women might pop a hat on to ride to town in. Then the best part I will always be proud of was the nice frame I made all around her body. I put all the artificial flowers I could find from all those show jars around her end to end so she looked set off like a picture. A still life you might say."

In trying to make something nice she insults everyone around. Gibbons nails it because again that is what a child would do, especially Ellen. Children always have different intentions. She felt that maybe if she handled her grandmothers death well that Jesus and everyone would for give her for what happened to her mother. That is the worst part, that she actually was cornered into feeling guilt for something she had nothing to do with. She was just a child.

Soon after that she is moved over to her aunt and cousin's house. There she had to deal with the idea that she would always be second best and never live up the ideals of aunt Nadine. Dora the spoiled brat of a cousin she had felt it was her job to make Ellen feel increasingly uncomfortable and small, but Ellen with her sense of humor accepted it and made the best of the situation. She had her own plans in mind. She saw a woman at church and decided that she would be a good mama. It was only a matter of time. She planned at the New Year to have a new start, one that she could be happy with. Finally on Christmas aunt Nadine throws Ellen out, so she finds out where the lady from church lived and was on her way.

A very interesting story line that I think says a lot about the writer and even more about people who need someone is Ellen's interaction with God. So far my experience reading southern writers is that the power of God makes his way into a lot of writing. I especially liked it in this story. After all the shit Ellen has to go through the last person she turns to is God. How many children do you know that turn to God at such a young age? Most of them gain their identity from their parents but when little Ellen is faced with constant disappointment she turns to God. Trying to prove herself and gain a sense of being "even". She just wants to start all over with that chance of having something similar to a family and she fills if she proves to God that she is worthy that everything bad will stop. I wonder what Gibbons is trying to say. I feel that having faith and belief in someone like God is very important. Believing allows you to feel like someone is there when in all actuality everything is going to shit. It is very important for Ellen to have that in her life. It helps her subconsciously to become a person that she is happy with in the end.

Ellen from the opening of the book just wants a family. A mother and a father and if one couldn't be there, then one parent that could cover both roles. Instead she is forced in and out of different homes with more disappointment each time. I assume if Kaye Gibbons wanted to tell this story of her experiences and make it one big tearjerker she could easily do it. There would be one thing missing though and that would be the voice of the child. By allowing Ellen to be this tough little girl that doesn't cry, except for the time her mama's mama slaps her, helps to create a different dynamic. One that allows you to laugh and cry at the same time. You want Ellen to have that family and be happy and not witness all this disappointment and loneliness. By having Ellen be that tough little girl that does, thinks, and says outrageous things makes it easier to read a story about neglect and lost-childhood. It mixes in a couple important laughs and allows you to feel for this child more and more.

In ending Ellen Foster talks about racism, child abuse, foster care, and many other subjects relating to human experiences. It takes you places through a child's eyes that are every child's worst nightmare. It takes a child that feels she should be superior to her only colored friend and makes her see equality, most importantly it takes a lonely child and gives her the love and affection of a parent, a "foster" parent and helps to make Ellen Foster the great coming of age novel that it is.

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Choice

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Alice Munro's, Lives of Girls and Women, Robert Leunig's Sitting on the Fence and related texts; The Insider by Michael Mann and Cock Crow by Rosemary Dobson provided a new insight into the definition and meaning of choice that individuals possess. Each composer highlighted the meaning of choice from their personalized perspectives, however, they all agreed to the core belief that "we must make the ultimate decisions for ourselves" and there are consequences if we do as expected.

In 'Lives of Girls and Women', Munro deals with many issues of choice. Munro emphasizes the importance of choices by focusing each chapter on a choice Del must make. Each chapter begins with a meandering introduction, which creates the framework to Del's anecdote, finally leading to the revealing of an epiphany. By following this structure, Del makes important choices during the text concerning her future, her expression of her gender and her attitude towards sex.

With each of these choices she can either reach her potential or be bogged down. Munro uses the motif of water to show this. "We spent days along the Wawanash River", she used this as the opening line for the text. It becomes a significant symbol to show the drowning of potential of the characters, especially Del. Munro carries this throughout the text to underline the fact that we must make our own decisions, or else, we too will be drowned. This allows responders to focus their attention to how important Del's choices are.

Munro deliberately does not allow the characters around Del to develop and by juxtaposing these unfilled characters with Del, emphasizes the consequences of just conforming to society's expectations. Miss Farris was talented and had a lot going for her, but was drowned in the Wawanash River. Munro uses the motif of water once again to symbolise the washing away of potential. Also, Fern Dogherty had a fabulous voice, despite this, nothing becomes of it. "Fern's style of singing, though admired, was regarded as a hair's breadth from showing off". Munro uses an ironic tone in this statement to reveal Jubilee's mediocrity and also the lack of development of prospective.

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Ada, Del's mother, and Garnet, Del's boyfriend, play a huge role in the development of Del's character. Munro makes these extreme characters influential parts of Del's life and contrasts them to stress the important choice of whether to conform or not. Ada's character rejects her feminine side as she believes it as a disadvantage and relies highly on facts. "What is a person? A large percent of water. Just plain water. Nothing in a person is that remarkable. Carbon. The simplest elements. That's all. It's the way it's put together that's remarkable. We have the heart and lungs. Pancreas. Stomach. Brain. All these things, what are they? Combination of elements." This is proof of the way that Ada thinks is very factual and unemotional. By creating a character like this as a role model to the narrator, responder's are able to see that it isn't necessary to follow in footsteps, rather do what you want because only we can make decisions for ourselves. Del has many opportunities to follow her mother's views, however, Del makes a serious decision when she comes to the epiphany at the end of the chapter, Lives of Girls and Women, and decides to live like a man. "I would have to resist anything she told me with such earnestness. The advice handed out to women, to girls, advice that assumed being female made you damageable, that a certain amount of carefulness and solemn self- protection were called for, whereas men were supposed to be able to go out and take on all kinds of experiences and shuck off what they didn't want and come back proud. Without even thinking about it, I had decided to do the same". This doesn't mean that Del closed off her feminine side totally, instead she opened a new path where she accepted and adapted to both worlds and ultimately decided how she would view the world and herself included.

Garnet presented Del with many choices. He influenced Del in different ways and made alters and bends in her road. 'He took me to see his family. It was a Sunday afternoon. The examinations began on Monday. I said I had to study, and he said, "You can't do that. Momma has already killed two chickens."' Although it seems that she was forced, only Del could have made the final decision and she ultimately chose to sacrifice her education for Garnet, and as a result loses the scholarship. She allows herself to succumb to Garnet's manner time and time again. 'I had to mention it to somebody. "I saw a cat yesterday tearing a bird apart. It was a big striped tom. I don't know where it came from."' This is how Del describes when she had lost her virginity to her mother. Munro uses imagery to convey the helplessness of the situation. Though, finally, when Garnet again tries to take control of another aspect of Del's life she is presented with another choice in her life. He tries to force her into becoming a Baptist. "You have to get Baptized… say you'll get baptized or I'll baptize you anyway". Munro once again uses the motif of water, but more actively when he physically dumps her underneath the surface to highlight the heaviness of the situation and the alternate consequence. By being forced into a religion instead of freely being able to decide Munro allows Del to come to an epiphany "I felt amazement, that anybody could have made such a mistake, to think they had real power over me." This made Del realize that she was the only one who could decide what she really wanted for herself, and nobody, not even the love in her life, could take that little control she had left. Not only does this represent the religious aspect, but also Munro uses this to symbolize the total surrendering of herself into his lifestyle.

Through the motif of water, symbolism, contrasts, and juxtaposition Munro makes it possible to identify Del's choices and her final decisions she makes for herself.

Michael Leunig's Sitting on the Fence presents an aspect of choice. It shows the difficultness of making decision and indecisive nature we can get ourselves into. Leunig divides the one character into two to show this.

"Come sit down beside me

I said to myself"

Although Leunig shows this from his perspective, it exerts the fact that we can not sit on the fence forever but must eventually come to a decision and get ourselves off the fence. Leunig uses the fence as a symbol to signify the divergent roads available.

Leunig made the last word of each stanza, 'sense' and 'fence', rhyme to give the sense of completion at the end. He also placed these two words on its own to show the single decision the character must ultimately make.

Black and white are the only two colours used which represents the two choices and contrasts these colours to show the eventual simple nature of it all.

[What else can I discuss?]

'The Insider' by Michael Mann presents choices in a different manner. This movie uses different techniques to the other texts and is more obvious to detect. Russell Crowe's character, Jack, as an insider to a cigarette company, must decide whether he will reveal their secrets and breach the confidentiality agreement by doing so or not.

The choice is easily seen and known that only he himself can make the decision when Robert DeNiro's character tells Jack "It's up to you. No one can make the decision but you." Mann shoots this scene in a car to show the urgency and rush of the situation. When the weight of the choice is on him and he must ultimately make the choice, Mann shows the scenery of water behind him to denote the calmness on the surface but underneath the unknown is lurking and there are consequences we are not sure of. Like Munro, Mann uses the motif of water, but in a different context. Mann deliberately makes the music fast and upbeat to show the importance and pressure of the situation and create an atmosphere full of tension.

When Jack decides to reveal the secrets and follows them through, he is returned to the previous scene, but this time the water is unsettled and rough. Mann has done this symbolize what will happen in his life. The dark underneath has up risen and ripples of troubles will start a trend. The music now is slow and sorrowful. It shows the character reflecting in the choice just made. This music is carried through to the next scene where he is in his hotel room, the music keeps building with tension with each passing moment and finally, at the climax, the camera is zoomed into a window. Here we are presented with yet another choice. Mann purposely allows the responders to feel the pressure on his shoulders and his world shattering around him. The water droplets on the window begin to fall and run together like sweat to show the heaviness of the situation. As this happens, Man zooms out and blends the background into a happy memory he once had. This makes the option of suicide tempting and alluring. Mann consciously places the correct music throughout each scene to conjure the emotions he is looking for from the responders.

Each decision that Jack must make during the movie is helped and influenced but is always only ultimately up to him. Mann reveals this by using various camera techniques, music to arouse certain emotions and the motif of water, as like Munro. Each scene is carefully positioned to create certain atmospheres and lines of each character are straight forward.

Like Leunig's 'Sitting on the Fence', 'Cock Crow' by Rosemary Dobson, presents the indecisiveness and conflicts of making a choice. Through writing in first person, responders are able to feel the immediacy and personal sense of the poem. "Between the lit house and the town" This introduces the symbolic nature of her conflict. The bridge is also used to convey this.

Dobson uses certain images to illustrate her struggle to come to her final decision. "The dark trees closed me round" and "Only my footsteps held the ground" are two images that reveal her conflict preventing her from going on. Furthermore, this image reveals the contrast of her physically and emotionally.

"Their needs in shutting-to the door", the repetition of 't' sound gives off a harsh impression hence Dobson uses this assonance to emphasise the denying of her own needs.

Dobson presents her anxiety of making the final choice through the line, "And walking up and down the road". Nevertheless, through the breaking of the rhythm pattern in the next line, "Knew myself, separate and alone", responders are able to deduce that it's finally the crisis point and she must finally make the decision.

Moreover, Dobson deliberately makes the rhythm pattern not fully complete giving a sense of unfulfillment once the poem is over.

Finally, Dobson applies the biblical allusion of Cock Crow to display the betrayal of her own needs for her responsibilities.

Despite what she really wants and her personal conflicts, it can be seen that she ultimately decides to choose her family and responsibilities over her personal aspirations.

Therefore, through studying Munro's Lives of Girls and Women, Leunig's Sitting on the Fence, Mann's The Insider and Dobson's Cock Crow, it can be seen through influences, conflicts and much difficultness, we ultimately make decisions for ourselves. Each composer showed this by using various techniques such as, contrasts, juxtaposition, motifs, certain images, biblical allusions and creating the accurate atmosphere. These texts have broadened my outlook on choice and I have finally concluded that whatever my decision, only I, no one else, can make it.

Please note that this sample paper on choice is for your review only. In order to eliminate any of the plagiarism issues, it is highly recommended that you do not use it for you own writing purposes. In case you experience difficulties with writing a well structured and accurately composed paper on choice, we are here to assist you. Your cheap research papers on choice will be written from scratch, so you do not have to worry about its originality.

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INSTILLING A NEW VALUE IN ALL MUSIC MAJORS: MUSIC THERAPY

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INSTILLING A NEW VALUE IN ALL MUSIC MAJORS MUSIC THERAPY

If you want to major in music, everyone knows the obvious choices are either performance or education. Many freshman come in with music scholarships-so why not try it out and see? I'm sure that the statistics of people who drop out of the school of music in their first or second year would make any pre-music major think that 'just trying and seeing' a is the way of looking at your college degree. This may not be a serious problem in other majors, like when switching from business to economics, but in the school of music it is a different thing, and can be harmful in many ways. This way of thinking can create general apathy in the classrooms, the studios, and maybe even in the teachers. My freshman year one of my best friends was on a full ride with a flute performance scholarship. She truly hated playing the flute, but since she got the scholarship she was forced into staying in the school of music for years while completing her liberal studies. She eventually failed out of the school of music. The most tragic thing about people like this is when you question whether or not they might have been interested in some other degree in music. Do music majors ever think about using their music talent in new ways-like music history, general music education, commercial music, or even music therapy? Did anyone tell them about other options? Don't we need more people in the workplace, besides teachers, who are passionate about music? The peer influence when one makes a decision in the school of music is shocking. I personally believe that many people stick it out as a music ed major because that is where all their friends are, and to change majors would be like losing their friends, and maybe even their identity. There are people that I believe are only in the school of music because they have received so much love, help, and moral support, that if they dropped out now, (no matter what the reason), they would be 'letting down' a lot of people. And then there are those who think they can't do anything else. Sometimes the opposite can happen-my best friend Jenny dropped out of the school of music, and, I don't think I really wanted to be a teacher anyway, so I'm gonna drop out too.

Naturally many of these situations are unpredictable and unavoidable. I believe there are ways to broaden the thinking of new music majors, and I think a great way is to start with raw experience. Studies show that the best way to learn about something is by doing. For example, I started out as an instrumental music major-what else, of course? It wasn't until my first time observing and interacting in an elementary classroom that I had even considered doing elementary music. Before this experience I was seriously looking at other majors (outside of the School of Music), because I knew that I didn't want to be a high school/middle school teacher, and I didn't think that there was any other choice-everything else in the school of music, especially music therapy, seemed like a pretty risky move and sounded too 'new-agey' for me. The only thing I really knew about them is that many were in a fraternity that sold Chinese food in the breezeway, and that wasn't appealing to me. As petty as that sounds, that is what I honestly thought about it, and no one told me otherwise. Luckily, I was open-minded enough that I asked a few people about the process of being a general music major, and since then I have been much happier and felt much more secure about my future career. In the past few years I have also made friends who are in the music therapy program, and now have an incredible respect and fascination for it. What I'm suggesting is that there can be an opportunity for all music majors to experience one of the most overlooked, and most powerfully effective and exciting, majors in the school of music Music Therapy. So where can we find time to enable music majors to experience music therapy? Two words First Year Experience and Student Recital.

The last thing the School of Music needs to implement on it's undergrads is another requirement. So I humbly suggest that maybe some of the previously mentioned requirements can be altered. The first requirement First Year Experience. The problem with this program is not so much the content, but it's the time it is implemented. The first weeks of a freshman's life is not concerned with how to use the library or the WebLouis. This is the first opportunity for the blossoming, fresh new student to begin his first grumblings about the 'stupid' requirements the school of music makes him do. For many, it is a time when you can pair up with a bunch of your stealth friends and cheat on the research quiz and get it out of the way. By the time you use the WebLouis, you'll have forgotten how your friend got the answers to the test, but, in times of need, it's amazing how quickly you can learn how to use a library. Besides, in most of my classes that require research, my teachers have explained thoroughly how to research our topics, and of them have actually used a class period to give their own personal tour of the music library. I see this 0-15 slot on the first Wednesdays as a perfect time for showcasing all the degree programs FSU's School of Music has to offer. To be fair, the -4 least exposed/understood majors (I'm sure therapy has to be one of them) could be presented and discussed. The head of the department could give a succinct PowerPoint presentation on the statistics of that major, (things young adults are interested in, like salaries, which careers that these majors can hold, traveling opportunities, which ones are good preps for masters, etc) and then show a video of past/present FSU students (or other people, if necessary) active in that major, and then with a testimony about what this career/major means to them. Just recently I watched a crude videotape from the 70's that showed a woman, who could barely carry a tune herself, using music therapy to teach a mentally handicapped boy to tell time. I was in such awe of the role that music played in that teaching style, it was so simple, yet so effective. How powerful would it be to hear about and see someone using his talent in music to nurse mentally ill patients back to health? At the end of the presentation the students in the audience should have a question and answer session, and then receive additional material about that major and contact information in case they have more questions. To be as successful as possible, surveys should be passed out the last Wednesday (can be used for attendance purposes as well) so that students can respond to how effective the presentations were and if it made anybody think about exploring their options in other careers in the school of music.

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The next, more time consuming requirement Student Recital.

I think that it is a wonderful thing when a student can get opportunities to play in front of their teachers and peers. However, it's not so great when a student uses this time to do their homework and catch up on gossip and sleep. I'm not about to suggest how to stop this misbehaving, but more to suggest an alternative performing medium to break up the monotony, and actually get to play for an audience that is probably excited to hear anybody play. During the time in the first weeks a representative (maybe a president, or someone that isn't already helping sell Chinese Food? ) from the music therapy majors can set up a list of slots for people to sign up and perform in a nursing home/hospital. This would be an excellent opportunity for music therapy majors to get first hand experience of scheduling events and creating good Public Relations skills that (I would assume) would help prepare him or her for their future career in music therapy. This would also encourage a lot of creativity in the freshman-they can create any kind of ensemble and play any kind of music (within any guidelines given to them by the coordinator). If the students want to use an ensemble that they are already in, (ex woodwind quintet) then I think that that would be perfectly acceptable. So as not to take up more time from professors, I think that the music therapy students could screen the ensemble before they play. They would also need to be responsible to make sure they have rides arranged. Maybe there could be a Blackboard web site set up for this program, where, in order to receive credit, each member of the ensemble posts a short response about how the performance went, how well it was received, etc. This can be a simple way the overseeing professor can take attendance/grade, etc. I'm not suggesting that this program take the place of Student Recital completely. The first semester could be a test-run, where everyone is required to do this once, and to compensate the time spent doing this, the students can go to one less student recital that was required of them prior. Maybe in the future there could be a trade-off system, where each time you perform in the nursing home it is one less recital credit you need, etc. This program would also set up students for success, which is what many music majors need. So often the only performance music majors have to do (besides playing in a large ensemble) is the high-stress jury at the end of the semester. From my previous experiences, playing in a nursing home is a very -low anxiety performance, which means a high chance for success. Once again, I would like to have data supporting that this is a good use of the student's time. The students should take some surveys with them to the nursing home, and bring them back filled out by a few of the people in the performance to also type into the web site (anonymously). At the end of the semester the overseeing professor should be able to evaluate just by looking on the site whether or not the program was successful. This leads me to one more question Have we seen the research on how student recital effects FSU music students? How do we know that 15 recitals a semester isn't enough? Is it just as important for performance majors to go to as it is for music ed majors? Where do these required numbers come from that gives us a specific number of required student recitals? How come not all studios require student recital attendance, how is that fair? Do we come up with these numbers just because this is how much you can push a student before they self-combust? These questions are a bit extreme, I know, but recently I've been opening my mind to question everything.

I do not know much about music therapy, but I know that our ability to create music is one of the most powerful tools we are given-because we can choose to improve the lives of other people. FSU has an incredible music therapy program already, so how much more could they be appreciated and facilitated if they worked hand in hand with other music students? When music majors get wrapped up in their own little specific world, it creates cliques and encourages small thinking that can easily carry on over to their other spheres of influence, which is possibly their future students. The FSU School of Music has this opportunity to build bridges within it's school and local institutions, and work in cooperation for the betterment of the community-

-and there is nothing quite as valuable then when you give someone the power….to give of themselves.

Please note that this sample paper on INSTILLING A NEW VALUE IN ALL MUSIC MAJORS: MUSIC THERAPY is for your review only. In order to eliminate any of the plagiarism issues, it is highly recommended that you do not use it for you own writing purposes. In case you experience difficulties with writing a well structured and accurately composed paper on INSTILLING A NEW VALUE IN ALL MUSIC MAJORS: MUSIC THERAPY, we are here to assist you. Your cheap custom college paper on INSTILLING A NEW VALUE IN ALL MUSIC MAJORS: MUSIC THERAPY will be written from scratch, so you do not have to worry about its originality.

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