Friday, November 6, 2020

My lifes work

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The Most Meaningful Connections in Life


All my life I was lead to believe that I could trust no one but my family. That no one would care as much and no one would help me out as much. Two years ago something happened that shattered every thing I was taught to believe. What do you do when you can't trust those you've loved all your life? It made me think about my future and past in a whole new perspective. I questioned everyone's feelings and attitude towards me. Where they genuine? Can they be trusted? I not only lost faith, but I lost the connection I thought was the most meaningful in life, the connection between me and my inner most thoughts and feelings.


I trusted my family with my life. Betraying me, they left me isolated with the fear of rejection. I no longer feel that family is as meaningful as it once was. Even though my family's support meant a lot to me, I didn't have a strong connection with them. Most people believe that family comes before everything. They think that I'm stupid for closing the door to my family. But little do they know, life's experiences change relationships as well as feelings. As the days went on, the same feeling has arisen about Friendship.


I thought that Friendship was very meaningful, but lately my opinion's becoming futile. Trust is something that comes easily for me. I trusted those who showed me remorse and compassion, and let them get close enough to snub me. Leaving me dead in their tracks was the only way most of my friends let me down. I could only take rejection so many times, after that I began to think that something was terribly wrong with me. That feeling left me to wonder if anyone could ever love me for me, or would I have to change myself.


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I realized that ever person that I have ever loved has run as far as they can from me. Whether it was a friend, family member or just a Crush doesn't really make a difference. I loved those who loved me back. So technically, since not a lot of people bothered to give me the time of day, my love didn't reach them. I'd taught myself that it was their loss not mine. It was actually a very reassuring thought.


All in all, my experiences have taught me a lot about life's meaningful connections. They don't mean anything unless they 're a two-way connection. Also a connection means nothing if there is no trust, because I lost trust I lost the a lot more than just a connection or a relationship, I lost the biggest part of me, my heart. If you could take a moment an think about all the people that mean the most to you and narrow it down to those who you think care about you just as much as you care about them, you'll see that those are the people who you share the most meaningful connection with.


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