The Fallen Messiah of Generation X

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Name David Felix

Submitted 1.05.01

Word Count 15

Its better to burn out than to fade away.

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The Fallen Messiah of Generation X

On April 5, 14, the lead singer and songwriter of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, silently placed the end barrell of a shotgun into his mouth and pulled the trigger. And so ended the life of so much promise. But why did it have to come to this? Perhaps the reasons will never be known, but there were a few things that haunted Cobain throughout his life that he just couldnt seem to get away from.

Cobains parents were seperated when he was nine years old, and according to friends and family, the divorce that would shortly follow thereafter proved itself to be somewhat of a turning point in the way Cobain viewed himself and others. Up until then, Kurt was a happy child who was full of smiles and who also was ready and willing to forgive anyone who hurt him. But that all changed in 176.

For the rest of his life, Cobain would never forgive his father, and in time he had a hard time forgetting about his problems.

In 181, Cobain recieved his first guitar on his fourteenth birthday. It was no secret that he liked music. He loved the Beatles and would sing a song whenever someone asked him to. He was already showing the signs of a talented youngster who held promise in music and writing. In 186 Kurt decided to start a band with his good friend, Krist Novoselic. They went through several different names before finally settling down with Nirvana. For a few years Kurt played at clubs, bars, and anywhere else that a gig was happening.

In 18, Nirvana had the opportunity to record an album. Kurt, Krist, and Jason Everman recorded Bleach in three days for a said amount of $600. Sub Pop backed the band up, along with other bands who were hoping to hit it big. But Kurt never wanted that. He wanted Nirvana to remain an underground band. Within two years Bleach had sold 5,000 copies, and by 11, Nirvana was ready to record another one. They initially signed with Sub Pop Records, but when Sonic Youth signed with Geffen, Kurt went ahead and done the same. On September 4, 11, Nevermind was released to music buyers all throughout the country.

The band had hoped to sell 50,000 copies at the most, but something went wrong. People who were, by that time, receptive to grunge music had found a band that were different from all the others that they had heard before. The song in question was, Smells Like Teen Spirit. MTV played the song continously and placed it on heavy rotation, ensuring national exposure. Nirvana was a band that was destined to be in the spotlight, but Cobain hated the idea of being interviewed by the press. He also hated the tour schedules that were placed on him.

1 was a year that would be remembered as the year that Nirvana really hit it big. But at the same time, Kurts drug addiction was becoming worse. Cobain had been addicted on Heroin since 10. He took it to relieve himself from his chronic stomach pains. It wasnt an excuse to take the drug it was just his answer to the pain. Only insiders knew about this, but the press was nosy. After Kurt overdosed, the press automatically assumed that Cobain was a junky, and labeled him as one. In March of 1, Kurt married his girlfriend, Courtney Love, who later would add more problems to the band than anyone could ever imagine.

In August of that same year, Frances Bean Cobain was born, but although the baby was perfectly healthy, the press printed an article in the tabloids accusing Courtney of taking Heroin during the pregnancy. The baby was thought to be born underweight and on the verge of death.

Although Cobain was facing problems left and right, Nirvana was still a band. In October 1, Geffen released Incesticide, a collection of rarities and BBC sessions that were never known to have existed. The record did not sell as good as expected. But it did prove to one and all that grunge and punk rock was around longer than most people had assumed. On the cover was artwork that Kurt had painted himself.

In early 1, it was clear that Nirvana needed to release another album. Fans wanted an album that was a carbon copy of Nevermind, but Kurt had a different idea about this. In April, the band went to work and recorded 15 tracks. Three songs were left out. In September of 1, In Utero was released. The record sold almost as much as Nevermind, but even though Nirvanas music had become better and more sophisticated, Kurt wanted out of the music industry. In November, Nirvana performed at the MTV Unplugged in New York. Fans noted that Cobain seemed to have come to terms with his depression, and it was reported that he was going to kick the Heroin habit for good.

In January 14, Nirvana set out on their pre-scheduled European tour. Despite Kurts weariness, the band played consistently well at each show. In an interview with Kurt on March 1st, the Nirvana frontman was quoted as saying that he was a lot happier than most people thought he was. But a few days later, the world leanred that this was not the case. On March 4, Kurt overdosed on powerful sedatives and champagne. He was rushed to the nearest hospital and lay in a coma for five days. Geffen denied that this was a suicide attempt. Kurt was released on March . What happened in the next few weeks has been disputed by someone and confirmed by others. WE do know that Kurt flew back to Seattle to rest. He also allowed himself to enter a rehab clinic. But he stayed there for only a few days before leaving. On April , Kurts mother filed a missing persons report with the Seattle Police Department and at the same time, Courtney Love hired a private investigator to try and find her husband. Kurt was missing, and the world feared the worst.

On the morning of April 8, 14, electrician Gary Smith found what he thought was a mannequin laying on the floor. But upon closer examination, he learned that this was a person. He immediately called a local radio station and then called the police. A few hours later, the coroner positively identified the man as Kurt Cobain. Suicide was listed as the cause of death. Appearently Kurt had finally put an end to all his pain and frustration. When he died, people the world over began to wonder how someone so young and talented could possibly want to destroy himself the way he did. The method that Kurt used was a shotgun. It was quick and painless, but the pain that suicide causes is very much real to those who survive. The only thing that we can do is appreciate his life and the music that he made. While we will never be able to ask Kurt why he did what he did, we can draw our own conclusions based on what had happened to him throughout his 7 years here on Earth. The legacy that he left behind will always be remembered. Kurt Cobain is gone, but he will forever live on in the hearts and minds of all who make up Generation X.

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