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While reading greeting cards at the drugstore today I over heard a conversation between two men. One said, "She could have avoided a beating by not getting involved with him in the first place." To which the other man replied, "Yeah, she should have seen the signs, I mean she mush have known he would hurt her." Picking up another greeting card to read I stated loudly "Yeah, she could have used magic and consulted her Crystal Ball too … Right Boys?" Startled by my comment they darted for the door leaving their items behind. Immediately I wanted to add them to the "All Men are Assholes Club, " Instead I decided to go home and type up a little questionnaire, kind of like a "poll" for men. The questionnaire was simple and contained three questions
1)Do you think women know if a man is Domestically violent? Yes/No
)Reading the above question again, do you think there are warning signs? Yes/No
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)Domestic abuse is a crime, should be taken on a lighter note? Yes/No
Feeling like an investigative reporter on an adrenaline high, I printed out a bunch of the questionnaires, grabbed a few pens, and headed back to the store. Getting men to participate in my investigative poll on Abuse was a little tricky. Some of them filled in their answers not caring what I thought. Others not trusting my intentions, crumbled up the questionnaire, threw it on the ground, and walked away shaking their heads. Regardless of their participation they all had the same question for me, "are you a cop?" "No I am not a police officer." Actually I am gathering this information for an article I am submitting to our local newspaper on Domestic Abuse. Hopefully you'll catch it in the paper the day it prints, and thank you for your participation."
It took me over an hour to get ten men to participate in my questionnaire. "Ten men are better than none, " I thought to myself," so I wrapped up my investigation and headed home. Nine out of ten men answered all three questions with a "yes" answer. These results were devastating to me, inspiring me to submit the following letter to the editor
"Domestic Abuse Survivor"
I am a Domestic Abuse Survivor, and I have a few things to say to those of you who think a woman can predict domestic abuse, and a few more things to say to those of you who think lightly of Domestic Abuse.
No woman can predict if a man will be abusive any more than a woman
Deliberately gets involved with an abuser. Women don't have magical powers and we are not able to pick an abuser out in a crowd, out in a classroom, at a bank, or even at the park while you watch him play with his child for crying out loud.
There are no tattoos on their forehead warning people they are abusive, they don't have flashing Neon signs on their back saying, "Warning, Potentially Harmful to Others", Nor do they have a red flag stamped on their forehead symbolizing they are a ticking time bomb ready to go off. ! If this were the case certainly this would be heavenly, but the fact of the matter is that most abusive men are silent attackers. So I guess prediction is out of the question after all, now isn't it.
Now let me say a few words to those of you who think lightly of Domestic Abuse.
I realize you are entitled to your own personal opinion, Luckily so I am. And in my opinion Domestic abuse is never to be taken lightly. Lightly what? Lightly beaten into submission, lightly bruised, lightly battered? Are you trying to tell me that if a woman is only lightly beaten that it is ok to beat her? I think not! And For the life of me I cannot relate to those of you who have the "she deserved it attitude", or to those of you who assume "she should have known better and not gotten involved with him to begin with."
Where did you find the audacity to make a statement like that to a woman and think nothing of it anyway? How did you become so delusional, and how is it you can assume we should have known better? Has someone given you magical powers to see into the future making it possible for you to help others avoid making poor choices in their lives? Do you know something the rest of us do not know? In my opinion you don't know much of anything. And by not knowing, I have just revoked your privilege of making ludicrous conclusions about abused women.
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